Contribute to CRANK! Submissions due 24 December.

Got something on your mind? Thought about writing a letter about it, but decided not to because you were worried people would think you were a crank? Then CRANK is the magazine for you!

In CRANK, you can air petty annoyances, obscure conspiracy theories and general arguments about what is wrong with the world. The more petty and obscure, the better! Actual arguments, however spurious, are preferred to rants. Profanities and personal attacks should be avoided. Writings on truly serious issues are better directed to other publications.

Previous topics in CRANK have included: the paradox that is “this page left intentionally blank”, the continued use of the “www” prefix in written and spoken references to web addresses, sources of annoyance at music festivals, why the panda should be allowed to go extinct, the declining quality of shoelace aglets, the need for heritage airspaces, and many more.

Contributions of around 500 words can be sent to the editor (chiefnantucket at gmail) and are due on the 24th December. What else could you possibly be doing between now and then?? Please send submissions via email in Word or as plain text. Cartoons, illustrations, photographs and diagrams are also welcome, but must work in black and white/greyscale. Preferred image formats are jpgs and tifs, at at least 300dpi of the actual printed size. There are no author payments for CRANK submissions (alas) but you’ll receive print and digital copies of the magazine.

If you’d like to examine previous issues, they are available online at the pinknantucket press shop. A bundle of CRANKs ($10 for 2) might make a nice Christmas present for the crank in your life…

I'm sure Hogarth's "The Enraged Musician" would have submitted something to Crank. (Image from soundsurvey.org.uk)

I’m sure Hogarth’s “The Enraged Musician” would have submitted something to Crank. (Image from soundsurvey.org.uk)